Round 2 is officially over, and the Union of Ten Idiots is down to two. Gunnarrhea took care of This Is Mizerable 11.5–4.5, while No. 1 seed Goodyear Gila Monsters beat John's Super Team 10.5–5.5. After a first round that wiped out three of the top four seeds, the semifinals finally gave us the matchup: Gunnarrhea vs Goodyear Gila Monsters for the 2026 UTI Championship.
Mizerable's insane turnaround ends one win short of the title matchup, and Johnboy's run is over after knocking out BB in Round 1. Goodyear now gets the chance to finish off the season it has controlled for months, while Gunnarrhea gets one more shot to turn a roller-coaster regular season into a championship.
Gunnarrhea vs This Is Mizerable
NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M FOOKING TALKING ABOUT BABY!!!!! This is Mizerable caught another season ending case of Gunnarrhea, which means Gunnarrhea is going to the championship!! The offense did not need to blow the doors off the building; it just needed to win categories, and that is exactly what happened. Gunnarrhea took runs 37–29, homers 11–8, walks 39–27, net stolen bases 10–1 and total bases 119–108, while RBI finished dead even at 30. Mizerable did own the batting average battle, .257 to .223, and finished with fewer hitting strikeouts, but the category scoreboard was already tilting hard toward Gunnarrhea.
For This Is Mizerable, the season still deserves some respect. This team spent a huge chunk of the early year buried near the bottom, turned the whole thing around, knocked out defending champion Dixon Cider in Round 1, and made it all the way to the semifinals. That's a hell of a recovery. Unfortunately, there are no moral victories in the playoffs. Pack the bag, Mize. See ya later bud, cause Gunnarrhea is moving on.
John's Super Team vs Goodyear Gila Monsters
Shiiii dude was this a battle. Johnboy was down baaaaaaad early on in the matchup. But he actually turned it around actually brought a strong offensive week into the semifinal: 54 runs, 48 RBI, a .297 average and 146 total bases. That is insaaaaane numbers for a playoff game. I guarntee those stats would win you a matchup like 99% of the time. The problem was that Goodyear brought more power. The Gila Monsters hit 17 homers to John's 10, finished with 95 hits, posted a .302 average and piled up 158 total bases. John won the runs battle 54–42 and edged RBI 48–47, but Goodyear kept collecting enough categories to build a 10.5–5.5 win.
That sends the No. 1 seed exactly where the No. 1 seed expected to be: the championship. Johnboy deserves credit for bouncing BB's Bold Team in Round 1 and getting within one matchup of the final, but the ride ends here. Goodyear has been the league's most consistent monster down the stretch, and now there is only one idiot left between GILA and the trophy.