BTA Boyz, You There?

Well would ya look at that. This is Mizerable pulled out the upset and took down BB’s Bold Team 9–7, the team that held 1st place for most of the season. This one was as tight as can be. Mize won runs by 2, total bases by 1, stolen bases by 1, and AVG by .002. Man oh man those buttholes must have been clenched all Sunday because any one of those categories flipping would have changed the whole matchup. And the funniest part is Mize did all that while getting beat in homers 13 to 7. No power, no problem. Just enough of those little doinks to sneak out with the dub.

BB this one stings. That is now 2 losses in a row after that hot 8-game win streak, and now you dropped all the way to 3rd place. The week was definitely winnable too. The pitching was competitive, the offense had power, and it was not like the team completely no-showed like The BTA Boyz. But losing to This is Mizerable after sitting at the top for basically the whole year is tough. Everyone deserves a little luck every once in awhile, and this could be what happened. On the other hand, it could be a sign that BB is on the verge of collapse and ready to tank as the season reaches it's end. BB might need to stop the bleeding quick.

Yooooooo y’all better start washing your hands because Gunnarrhea is officially spreading. That is now 3 wins in a row, and this one was not even close. Gunnarrhea took down the Mactown MacDaddies 13–3 behind another filthy offensive week with 80 hits, 55 runs, 17 homers, 46 RBI, 39 walks, 5 steals, and 152 total bases. The batting average was ehh at .252, but who cares when you are dropping bombs and piling up counting stats like that. The pitching was not exactly pretty with a 4.23 ERA, but the staff still did enough with 73 strikeouts, 6 wins, 5 quality starts, 7 net saves, and a filthy .201 BAA. Bottom half of the standings or not, this infection is starting to spread like wildfire baby!!

Mactown MacDaddies tried some goofy little low-innings strategy and barely cleared the minimum with only 34 innings pitched, but it backfired right in their face. Yeah, the ratios were decent with a 2.91 ERA and .215 BAA, but when you only throw 34 innings, you better dominate every pitching category and hit some dingers, and they absolutely did not. The offense showed a little pop with 13 homers and 43 RBI, but getting outscored 55 to 40 and losing total bases 152 to 129 is not going to cut it. Mactown stood no shot this week. Gunnarrhea needed real competition, and instead got Mactown trying to hide behind 34 innings and vibes.

Oh shit did this one come down to the end. Goodyear looked like they were about to keep rolling as they had a narrow lead almost the entire week behind a monster offensive showing. The Gila Monsters racked up 95 hits, 51 runs, 23 homers, 8 steals, and 185 total bases, which should usually be enough to beat just about anybody. But then the pitching strategy got a little too cute. Goodyear tried keeping the innings low and leaning on relievers, which works great until the few starters you do use get absolutely nuked. Logan Webb got shelled, the panic Shane Bieber pickup got shelled too, and suddenly that beautiful offensive week was getting dragged down by a 5.31 ERA and .261 BAA. Goodyear had the win sitting right there and somehow turned it into a tie.

Dixon Cider will absolutely take this tie with how hot Goodyear has been. Dixon never really felt in control of this matchup, but hung around long enough to make Sunday matter. The offense was not as loud as Goodyear’s, but Dixon still punched back with 16 homers, 52 RBI, 37 walks, and 127 total bases. And even though Goodyear won the home run battle by a mile, Dixon stealing the RBI category 52 to 51 ended up being massive. The pitching was not perfect either with a 4.56 ERA, but 79 innings, 81 strikeouts, 8 quality starts, and a .248 BAA were just enough to avoid getting buried. It wasn’t pretty, but Dixon Cider escaped with an 8–8 tie, and Goodyear has to be sick knowing one less pitching disaster probably wins the week.

Woah, is this the 3rd upset of the week?! You Don't Know Bo finally remembered how to win and snapped that 3-game losing streak by taking down John’s Super Team 8.5–7.5. And honestly, Bo’s bats were cooking. They put up 94 hits, 52 runs, 46 RBI, a .313 AVG, and 152 total bases, which is a pretty nasty week from a team that has spent most of the season tripping over its own feet. Thank God the bats showed up too, because that pitching was.... yikes. A 6.22 ERA and .280 BAA is not exactly playoff baseball, but somehow Bo held onto just enough, including that ugly little WHIP win, to steal the matchup. If that category flips, Bo is right back to putting that bag over his head.

John’s Mid As Fuck Team losing to Gunnarrhea, Mactown MacDaddies, and now You Don't Know Bo in back-to-back-to-back weeks is a rough look. That is three bottom-half teams in a row, and those are exactly the matchups you need to win when you are trying to stay in the top of the playoff picture. The hitting was solid enough with 74 hits, 49 runs, 15 homers, 44 RBI, 35 walks, and 128 total bases, but the pitching absolutely killed them with a 4.82 ERA, 1.362 WHIP, and .266 BAA. Tying in wins, losses, and net saves also stings because any one of those going John’s way changes the whole week. Instead, John drops another close one, Bo gets a badly needed win, and John’s Super Team is starting to look less like a contender and more like a team begging for the regular season to end.

Me So Heorny had a little bit of a scare early in the week and was somehow trailing by a pretty decent amount against a team that apparently forgot Fantrax exists. But that was fun while it lasted. Once Heorny started separating in ABs and IPs, the categories started flipping and balance was restored. Heorny finished with 87 hits, 54 runs, 16 homers, 57 RBI, 38 walks, and 160 total bases, which was more than enough to put BTA away. The pitching did its job too with a 3.78 ERA, 1.200 WHIP, 64 strikeouts, 4 quality starts, and a .246 BAA. This one might have looked interesting for a second, but Me So Heorny has been one of the most consistent teams in the league for a reason. Against a team that refuses to update its roster, we all knew where this was headed. And with that gimme win, Me SO Heorny reclaimed 1st place!!

Oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, the BTA Boyz are really living up to the name Barely Trying Again. Trout went on the IL on the 18th and somehow sat there until Saturday before getting moved. We ain't asking for a full rebuild presentation here, just keep the lineup IL-free and throw in the starting pitchers. The sad part is BTA actually had some decent numbers with only 245 ABs, putting up 70 hits, 12 homers, 46 RBI, and a .286 AVG. That is not bad at all. But being almost 100 ABs behind Heorny is how you lose 13–3. The pieces are there baby, we just need to TLC. There is still time to make a run, but first someone might need to remind them the season is still happening and we didn't start Fantasy Football yet.