Week 11 came with top teams handling business, bottom teams digging even deeper holes, and some teams looking like they already mentally packed it in for summer. BB stayed on top, Heorny and Goodyear kept pressure on the leaders, John keeps inching his way up and Gunnarrhea and BTA somehow found a new way to make the standings look even worse. Before we get into the matchup recaps, we have to hand out the weekly hardware.
New Weekly Category: Hitting Strikeouts
Goodyear Gila Monsters vs BTA Boyz
The league-leading losing streak is now up to 8 games (thank God) as BTA Boyz took another convincing loss, this time to the Goodyear Gila Monsters. There was a brief moment early in the week where BTA had a small lead and looked like they might actually make this interesting, but that fell apart pretty quickly as we figured they would. Goodyear took over mostly through pure volume, piling up 311 at bats compared to BTA’s 255, and turning that gap into 95 hits, 48 RBI, 163 total bases, and a .305 average. BTA had a few decent numbers mixed in, but not nearly enough to keep pace with a team that is still pushing near the top of the standings.
The bigger issue for The BTA Boyz is that this team looks completely checked out. Looks like BTA Boyz are ready for an early offseason as it looks like they haven't been setting their lineup the last week. But at least he left Skenes in as a starter tbh Some luck might come out of it. But Mel has been blowing up my phone recently trying to get team control of the BTA Boyz. I might just have to give it to him at this point. But Goodyear did exactly what good teams are supposed to do against bad teams: win clean, grab the categories, and move on. BTA drops to 1-8-2 and are strong favorites to get the #1 pick. They claim rebuild but they have the tools to content now if they want to. But at this rate, the losing streak might keep rolling until they run into Gunnarrhea and accidentally find a team dreadful enough to hand them a win.
Me So Heorny vs You Don't Know Bo
Me So Heorny didn't have a complete walk in the park this week, but they continue the domination and beat down the 2025 GM of the Year, You Don't Know Bo. You Don’t Know Bo actually showed some life this week, but it still wasn’t enough to take down our 2 seed. Bo had the better hitting line with 82 hits, 50 runs, 12 homers, 34 walks, 133 total bases, and a .265 average, which is a solid week for a team that has spent most of the season getting absolutely bodied. The problem is that solid does not matter when the opponent controls the pitching categories and gives you almost no room to steal the matchup. This is what freaking winners do, and Me So Heorny is busting their balls to become the first time in UTI history to win two ships.
Me So Heorny won this one behind the arms, putting up a 3.16 ERA, 1.065 WHIP, 76 strikeouts, 5 wins, 5 quality starts, and a .220 BAA. The offense was not anything crazy, but it did enough to stay close while the pitching staff handled the rest. Bo made it more competitive than expected, but this is why the standings look the way they do. Heorny finds ways to win even without their best week, while Bo keeps finding ways to turn decent numbers into another loss.
Bo showed enough offense to make this respectable, but Me So Heorny showed why they are still one of the teams sitting near the top of the league.
John's Super Team vs Dixon Cider
John's Super Team was looking frazzled early on in the week preparing for the week matchup against the 2025 Champs, Dixon Cider, as they were adding players and then dropping them less than 1 minute later. This is a very unorthadox method that is coined by Me So Heorny, but this obviously worked as they stomped on our 2025 champs. Both teams did hit well, but only one team had pitching that did not completely blow up. John put together a strong offensive week with 88 hits, 49 runs, 18 homers, 53 RBI, 157 total bases, and a .279 average. Dixon was not far behind at the plate, finishing with 86 hits, 16 homers, 48 RBI, 150 total bases, and a .289 average, but the pitching gap ended up being the difference. But before we get into that, them boys over with John's Super Penis be mashing it recently let me tell you. When Nuketown doesn't have some of those wild offensive weeks, it's usually John's Super Penis quietly leading with mashed balls. If those guys stay hot with the bats, boy oh boy watch out.
Dixon had the innings and strikeouts, but the ratios were brutal. A 5.80 ERA and 1.665 WHIP across 66.2 innings hurts, especially against a team that already had the better power week. John’s pitching was not amazing either and this was definitely a winnable pitching week but a 3.76 ERA and .252 BAA was good enough when Dixon’s staff was busy turning every start into damage control. John did enough on both sides to win clean, while Dixon wasted a solid hitting week by letting the arms sink the matchup. The injury bug for Dixon Cider's pitchers has been hurting a ton. When they come back, expect her to be one of the frontrunners again.
BB's Bold Team vs Mactown MacDaddies
BB's Bold Freaking Team man..... our 1 seed for what feels like all season.....they just can't stop winning. They are absolutely crushing everyone in their path and look to be unstoppable. They currently have a 7 game win streak, which is equal to the same amount of gas station boner pills they take every week as well. It's crazy but it's true. I literallty cannot make that up. But fuck dude I know we we're all praying for a magical Nuketown week too, but unfortunately he's probably saving them for Gunnarrhea. Mactown hit .265 with 14 homers, 40 runs, 39 RBI, and 127 total bases, which is fine, but BB brought more volume and more production with 309 at bats, 75 hits, 45 runs, 17 homers, 55 RBI, and 147 total bases. The average wasn't the best at .243, but when you stack that many counting stats, nobody really cares how pretty it looked.
The pitching was where Mactown really gave this one away. A 5.28 ERA and 1.348 WHIP with only 39 strikeouts is not going to beat the man sitting at the top of the standings for the past like 6 weeks. BB was not exactly lights out either with a 4.30 ERA, but they threw 75.1 innings, picked up 69 strikeouts, 4 wins, 5 quality starts, and kept the WHIP down at 1.168. Nuketown needed a clean week to pull off the upset, and instead they gave BB enough free categories to cruise to another win.
This is Mizerable vs Gunnarrhea
Stupid This is Mizerable. Stupid league. I hate it. I'm voting for a redraft next season. But even that happened, I doubt it would help at all. I'd probably still be a bottom boy. But whatever, shocker shocker, This is Mizerable avoided a pretty easily avoidable case of Gunnarrhea to avoid becoming a bottom boy yet again. Mizerable did not do anything insane at the plate, but they were steady across the board with 74 hits, 44 runs, 44 RBI, 35 walks, 10 stolen bases, and a .256 average. Gunnarrhea had more runs, more homers, and more quality starts, but also hit .233, struck out 84 times. Let me tell you, if there's something Gunnarrhea is good at, it's striking out, since I lead the league in it every week.
The pitching gap ended up being the killer. Mize threw 67.2 innings with a 3.72 ERA, 1.212 WHIP,71 strikeouts, and a .217 BAA, which was more than enough against a Gunnarrhea staff that threw a ton of innings but got beat up doing it. Gunnarrhea finished with 81.1 innings, 69 strikeouts, 5 wins, and 5 quality starts, but the 5.31 ERA and .256 BAA ruined the whole week. Gunnarrhea started spamming pitching later in the week only to rack up more losses and bloat the already bloated ERA, WHIP and BAA and somehow lost pitching strikeouts. Embarrassing. Fuck you Gunnar and fuck you Loya
Also, you know what I just realized literally right now. I'm wondering why Gunnar never changed his team name since he dropped Casey Mize. Like it doesn't fit anymore. But it fits for Jacob Misiorowski too lol